Let’s DIY! What the Eff? The Four F’s of Trauma Triggers - Part Three

(Warning: This post obviously contains potential triggers. This article is for information only and not a replacement for therapy.)

Let's DIY!

Alrighty, peeps! Let’s talk how to handle those trauma triggers. I am assuming you have done the heavy lifting of trauma work, but are still getting surprised by occasional triggers.

Good news! I am not going to tell you to “Just breathe” while you are triggered. When I hear that, I want to strangle someone. (I might add “Strangle people with stupid comments” to my coping mechanisms list…)

If breathing like a Buddhist works — coolio. For me, that’s like clipping a doggie leash to a raging bull.

So, now what?

Since you won’t be able to unpack every single box in the closet during trauma therapy (see this blog), you will need to be able to handle triggers in real time.

What To Do:

1.Create a trauma trigger list. I mean an actual items, that you can rattle off, in a list form. I am not suggesting that avoid these situations forever, (your life could be very small). On the contrary. Having this list means you have done some introspection and triggers are less likely to surprise you. You will have a plan, baby! Your world might open up.

2. Create a coping mechanism list. How do you calm yourself? How will you release this energy after? Have three possibilities. People tell me they will always go for a walk. When they get triggered while driving a car, they are in big trouble.

Coping mechanisms that are active tend to be better than being passive (walking and art  / versus thinking or listening to music), because your body might want to release the adrenaline. And: It is OK to have others calm you, (talking to a trusted friend) but you also need to be able to calm yourself.

3. While in the flashback: Stay as present as possible and remind yourself that you are now an adult. Try to slow your body physically and find a safe place to calm yourself until your body starts to relax. Use a calming phrase that you thought of ahead of time, such as, “I am safe.” Some people use just one word, “Peace.”

4. Put the list where you can find it. The items you listed in #1, #2 and #3 need to be accessible when you need it, like your in phone.

5. Tell your people. In case it is not obvious, tell people closest to you your triggers, how you will calm yourself, how they can help, and if they do anything that might make it worse. Again — obvious, do this outside of a trauma trigger.

6. Get professional support. Trauma work is not just venting. Trauma work with a professional is a science. If you can’t afford professional help, NAMI has excellent support groups facilitated by a trained professional. Friends and family can be wonderful, but they are not trained and can burn out. Translation: Professional help.

(Want EVEN MORE ways to DIY trauma triggers? Click here for a printable list of eight more.)

Even though I have had so much therapy that I basically have my own parking space, I still have trauma triggers. But, as the years go by, the triggers are fewer and I can handle them.

I use to beat myself up for not being OVER THIS! which just added to the trauma. Then I realized, anyone can be mean. As wise travelers before me said, having the strength of self-compassion was the only ticket out.

What are your strategies for handling triggers? Click below and tell us.

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